I went out with my friends and I remembered how sad I am that some of my friends are no longer my friends. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile really and though I don’t necessarily miss them in my life I do miss them. This may not make a lot of sense on the outside but… Hearing about their lives from third parties when once they would have called to let me know about everything that happed that day is strange, even if i don’t feel the need to tell them things anymore. Maybe that’s how they feel?
When I was dancing I worried that God wouldnt talk to me and it made me feel very shaky in a most un-me wayway. It was scary. But when I returned he told me to open my eyes and when I did I saw my friend Brian dancing and other friends laughing and dancing and having such fun and I was thankful for having witnessed such joy and for the lord calling me to witness it and I felt so much peace inside of me. Like when you listen to a medium slow piano piece and everything feels eternal. I felt like that. But now I worry what if I was meant to open my eyes to more then just what I saw? What if I have missed something important in what was beinging said to me?
Tomorrow I will reflect more. And soon I will dance with every queer person I know and hopefully the lord will speak to me again and I will understand.
As a result of the New Year my facebook page is filled with people informing the world about there new yeas resolutons and this phrase that I’d never heard of before but which my sister informs me is said every January keeps showing up. New Year, New Me.
In previous years I’ve not paid much attetion to resolutions, Ive never ben very good at maintaining them mosty due to setting ones that are outside of my scope of ability or interest, also I’ve always felt if you want to start doing something then theres no point in waiting, just go do it. This year however I find myself fascinated my the idea of New Year, new me. Except I don’t want to be a new person. Why would I? After all like Disneys Mary Popins I’m practically perfect in every way. No I simply want to be a slightly different person so I sat my ass down and I thought about what minor effortless changes I could make in my life that importantly I will see through.
- No food in bed with the exception of tea unless I’m sick. This will have the dual outcome of saving me money on snacks I don’t need and saving my waistline from further expansion.
- Actually go to the gym/exercise when I say I will. No more bringing gear into college only to back out at the 11th hour. This doesnt mean I’ve to go every day or a set a number of times a week but if I say I’m going I’ve to go. Follow through is important.
- Continue being super cute and pretty. The boyfriend got me a lovely hair curler for christmas and all of a sudden my hair is adorable and managable which makes me beyond happy, along with this I am now the proud owner of a foundation courtesy of my mother which I am enjoying playing with. All resulting in a super cute me who I want to continue being on the return to Dublin.
- Lastly, in an effort to ease the lives of veryone around me I will make a greater effort to but away my dishes when I’m done with them, and stop using my bedroom floor as a wardrobe. It only takes a few seconds more and a cleaner space will improve my mood as well I think.
So these are the 4 things I’m going to try to commit myself to in 2014 which I can already feel is going to be a big year in terms of character growth and plot development which is always my favorite part of a series.
Things I like:
- the coffee
- the people
- the lectures
- the Library
Things I don’t like:
- Having to make new friends
- Being lost all the time
- the lack of plugs – I’m honestly starting to thing you have to sacrifice a newborn child to find a plug in this place
Things I miss about home:
- ALL OF MY FRIEND
- my bed
- Out in UL
- Bible study – this is odd cos I didn’t think I’d miss it and then on Wednesday I was here at the house while Kate and Tom were at it and I just got so super homesick and I’ve been in a proper slump ever since.
Things I don’t miss about home:
So that’s mostly been my first week in Dublin in bullet points.
This song has gotten me to college everyday in a great mood and I’m loving it more than a human should love a song.
I’m giving this blog a new start to go along with my new start in Dublin. Hopefully it’ll be filled with all the awesome updates on how super happy I am up here and the amazing things I get up to but given how hard I’m finding just writing this paragraph maybe it wont be! Still, Got to start somewhere!
I’m hoping to have a new blog every two to three days Monday and Thursday most likely so keep on eye on this space and we’ll see what happens
I’m not good at concentrating on one task. I get distracted easily, often by tiny that others just pass over. I’m also lazy which is why my old blog has two posts including the introductory one where I ramble about my life and my dog and disinteresting things like that. I myself get disinterested in most topics after ten minutes which is why my search history looks as manic as it is (seriously I just looked and it goes from Great Apes who’ve learnt Sign Language to the name of Barack Obama’s barber). So when I told my friends I was going to take another go at this blogging business they were sceptical as it turned out they had good reason as it is now nearly two months since I said that and this is my first post… I feel like I’m rambling lets get back on topic….
I went to see Bruce Springsteen in concert while he was in Ireland, I got a last minute ticket and despite only really knowing one album I made my way up to Dublin to witness an awe inspiring event. Over the course of the three and a half hour set I realised a few things:
- If a 62 year old man can jump around a stage like that four nights a week I can definitely get my ass out the door to take a walk every few days. It is crazy that a unemployed person like myself can’t find the energy or time to leave the house most days even to go for a short walk. After all the time I spend in front of the computer no one could argue that I don’t need the fresh air.
- If blogging is something I want to do I shouldn’t let myself or anyone else hold me back. My friends all have blogs in which they talk openly and successfully on a host of topics from things they’ve read or heard about to personal happenings in there own lives. I read every post and many have inspired me to start writing but I always chicken out in the end in fear that I won’t be able to make coherent sense and my shabby effort will somehow lessen theirs. The truth is I have some truly talented people in my life and there is nothing wrong (though there could be something misguided) in trying to force some talent into my own life. Their success should motivate and inspire me not have me hiding away.
- I really need to listen to more Bruce! That man is a God. Seriously.
That’s really I have to say. I’m starting a fire under myself to give this blogging thing a real chance because honestly much like cutting my hair in a bob its something I’ve wanted to do for years and since I finally did cut my hair off in November its properly time I moved onto the next item on my wish list.
Till next time,